Family

My name‿ is Henry. It was my father's‿ expectations rather than‿ any inclination‿ of my own that determined my upbringing,│ an(d) twenty-five years have been required for me to come to terms with the fact.

I was steered towards‿ a technical school‿ at fifteen,│ purportedly because‿ a trade‿ offered security│ and‿ in reality│ because no one thought to ask. I acquiesced,│ being‿ insufficiently rebellious,│ an(d) spen(t) two decades‿ in‿ a factory that has│ since closed,│ while my sister,│ permitted to choose,│ became‿ a physician. When‿ I raise the matter^ma-der‿ at Sunday lunch,│ my mother‿ accuses me of‿ ingratitude,│ an(d) there‿ is‿ a grain‿ of truth‿ in the charge:│ their sacrifices were genuine,│ an(d) gratitude was presumed rather than requested. What‿ I decline to accept‿ is the inference that│ because the sacrifice was real,│ the resentment‿ is‿ illegitimate.

The extended family still convenes‿ each week,│ and‿ it holds together,│ though the cohesion‿ is largely the work‿ of two aunts│ whose‿ emotional labour nobody in my generation has‿ ever thought to acknowledge,│ let‿ alone share. It seems to me that‿ a family can be benevolent‿ an(d) fractious simultaneously,│ an(d) that to be indebted to people‿ every year‿ of‿ one's life‿ is not the same‿ as loving them,│ though I would concede that the two are frequently confused.