Friendship

My name‿ is Marta. I have several hundred‿ acquaintances│ and,│ if‿ I am‿ honest,│ three friends,│ and‿ it has taken me a long time to accep(t) that this‿ is not‿ a deficiency.

What separates the two categories‿ is reciprocity under pressure. Anna and‿ I have known‿ each‿ other│ since primary school,│ an(d) when my father was dying she arrived without being‿ asked‿ an(d) stayed four days. That,│ rather than‿ anything said,│ is the test‿ I now apply. I have‿ also ended‿ a friendship that had become superficial,│ and‿ I do not regret‿ it:│ loyalty that survives‿ only│ because‿ it‿ is never tested‿ is not loyalty,│ it‿ is‿ inertia. To be taken for granted‿ is corrosive,│ an(d) nobody should be available without limits.

Most‿ of the friendships‿ I have los(t) were not los(t) dramatically. Nobody betrayed‿ anybody;│ we drifted‿ apart│ after university an(d) found,│ on meeting^mee-ding‿ again,│ that there was nothing lef(t) to say. Then,│ out of^outta the blue,│ an‿ ol(d) friend‿ apologised two years‿ ago for something that had happened‿ in 2011,│ an(d) we reconciled‿ over‿ a coffee. I confide‿ in very few people,│ and‿ I would rather have three friends│ who would‿ appear than thirty^thir-dy│ who would send‿ a message. The capacity to apologise‿ is,│ I suspect,│ what keeps the long‿ ones‿ alive.