Parenting

My name‿ is Daniel. I was brought‿ up by parents│ who were‿ authoritarian│ but not‿ unkind,│ and‿ it took me a decade‿ of fatherhood to see what their method could‿ an(d) could not‿ induce.

It‿ induced‿ obedience,│ reliably,│ and‿ it‿ induced very little^li-dle self-regulation. Rules were‿ enforced without‿ explanation,│ so I learned to comply│ when‿ observed‿ an(d) to do as‿ I liked│ when not. With my own children‿ I have tried to explain the boundaries rather than simply impose them. When my older son broke‿ a neighbour's window,│ I did not shout;│ I took (h)im to apologise‿ an(d) let (h)im pay for the glass‿ out of^outta his savings. The consequence was his,│ an(d) he remembers‿ it three years later^la-der.

What concerns me more than disobedience‿ is the peer pressure that‿ awaits them‿ at secondary school,│ which no parental‿ authority can control. I suspec(t) that the parents│ who overprotec(t) their children‿ are protecting themselves,│ an(d) that‿ a childhood with no risk produces‿ adults│ who are not resilient. My parents considered twelve‿ old‿ enough to travel‿ across town‿ alone;│ almos(t) nobody in my son's class does. If‿ autonomy is what we want to^wanna develop,│ then the culture‿ of supervision‿ is working‿ against‿ us,│ and‿ I have never hear(d) that stated‿ as plainly as‿ it deserves to be.