Parenting

My name‿ is Daniel. I am the father‿ of two boys,│ an(d) before‿ I had children‿ I was convinced that discipline was the answer to everything. Experience has taught me that discipline without‿ explanation produces‿ obedience,│ not maturity.

My parents were fairly authoritarian,│ and‿ it was never discussed why a rule‿ existed. I have tried something different:│ the boys‿ are given boundaries,│ but they are‿ also tol(d) the reason for them. When my older son broke‿ a neighbour's window,│ he was not shouted‿ at;│ he was taken to apologise│ an(d) he paid for the glass‿ out of^outta his savings. The consequences were his,│ an(d) two years later^la-der he still remembers‿ it. What worries me more than disobedience‿ is the peer pressure they will face‿ at secondary school,│ which no paren(t) can control.

My concern‿ is that parents today are‿ encouraged to overprotec(t) their children,│ and‿ independence‿ is being postponed. My parents thought‿ a twelve-year-ol(d) should be able to travel‿ alone. Mine take the bus,│ but‿ almos(t) no one‿ in their class does. If self-esteem comes from doing things by yourself,│ then‿ a childhood with no risk may be a childhood with no confidence,│ and‿ I have never hear(d) that‿ explained‿ as clearly as‿ it should be.